


Dangerous

by cellard00rs



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: AU, Grunks! In! Space!, Interdimensional Space Pirates, Rick and Morty mention, That damned Sanchez
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 09:59:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4742087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cellard00rs/pseuds/cellard00rs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Stan and Ford take in the kids for the summer and go on interdimensional space adventures with them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dangerous

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by stan-o-wars Space Grunkle drawings [here](http://stan-o-wars.tumblr.com/post/128248274047/what-do-u-mean-i-cant-have-the-au-where-stan-and) and [here](http://stan-o-wars.tumblr.com/post/128322415047/interdimensional-space-grunkles). As well as the song [Dangerous by Sam Martin and David Guetta.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdabQibX6oM)
> 
> I have no idea what this AU is called exactly (interdimensional space pirate au? Grunks! in Space! Au?). Anyway, it was invented by stan-o-wars and the drawings really inspired me!
> 
> Might write more in this verse later - it was surprisingly fun to play with! Mentions of Rick & Morty and Stancest - the Stancest so far is such that you could probably say it’s not even there...but my shipper heart would probably go there if I wrote more. Sorry not sorry.
> 
> STILL! Hope you all enjoy! ;)

 

“We can’t watch these kids, Stanley.”

“Why the hell not!? It’s just for the summer!”

“Stanley,” Ford sighs and rubs at his eyes, “We _barely_ spend any time in this dimension anymore. Much less three months’ worth.”

“Well, yeah,” Stan huffs, “What would be the fun in that? No, I was thinking we’d take the kids with us!”

Ford’s eyes are huge, “Are you out of your mind?!”

“What?” Stan’s tone suggests that he doesn’t see any problem with this suggestion. But Ford has problems – lots of problems, with the very idea of this, “Stanley, it’s irresponsible, dangerous-”

“The kids’ll love it! Trust me, when I was their age I would have _died_ to go on an adventure like this!”

“Yes, you would have, because you never did think things though! Stanley, I refuse to be-”

“Sanchez does it.”

“Sanchez is a drunken, reckless idiot!”

“Who’s smarter than you.”

Ford glares at Stan with complete hatred but Stan just laughs, “He’s more fun, too.”

One of Ford’s eyes twitch. He shouldn’t let Stanley goad him like this. _He shouldn’t let Stanley goad him like this._ He shouldn’t let Stanley-

“FINE.” The word explodes out of Ford’s mouth, “Call their parents! We’re taking them for the summer!”

Stan hoots in triumph.

 

+

 

Dipper and Mabel aren’t expecting to have much fun this summer at their Great Uncle’s place. They’ve never met - much less had a lot of interactions with - Stanley and Stanford Pines. In fact, their parents have always suggested that the two are the black sheep of the family. Something about a _huge_ falling out with their father, Filbrick Pines – he’d pretty much booted both of them out of not only their childhood home, but the Pines family in its entirety.

Still, their parents don’t see the harm and they want their kids to get outside and enjoy the fresh air. They also have their, um, own issues to work out and it would be better if the kids weren’t present. Dipper smells the possibility of a divorce in his parent’s future, but he doesn’t breathe a word of this to Mabel. It’s hard enough for him to deal with on his own – he refuses to crush his twin’s tender heart.

They arrive at the Mystery Shack – part tourist trap, part science research facility.

Stan runs the tourist trap part – he has a bunch of kitschy crap he shows to tourists – ridiculous things like Bigfoot’s cousin, Smallhands (which is just a creepy as hell, stuffed ape looking thing with tiny ass doll hands) and pictures of weird oddities that can’t possibly be real. Although…Dipper thinks an awful lot of them look lifelike. But the alien backgrounds have to be photo shopped…right?

Stan has two employees – Soos, a handyman, and Wendy, a girl who works the gift shop counter. Dipper looks at Wendy and immediately turns the color of her hair. He doesn’t have much experience with girls past his sister. Especially not girls with flawless skin and pretty, pretty red hair.

Still, Mabel loves this part of the Shack, while Dipper only finds it passingly interesting.

Ford is in charge of the other half of the Shack, the science research facility. He makes a wide variety of weird, odd inventions. Like a focused laser light that can shrink and grow objects at will or his mind control tie – which he lets Dipper toy around with and then immediately regrets because Dipper is _twelve_ and the first thing he uses it for is Wendy and it…does not go well…

Ford has two employees too. One of them, Fiddleford McGucket, is the first to point out how lending Dipper the tie was a bad idea. He points it out by smacking Ford upside the head and reminding him that, ‘Hey! He’s a father of one – so he knows more about kids, and what to and what _not_ to give them, than Ford’ll know in a lifetime!’

Fiddleford also makes inventions, but his main job is to sell the items. Stan tries to help with this on occasion, but Fiddleford always talks him out of it. Let the southern man use his southern charm, he insists. And then Stan always asks how the southern charm went over with Fiddleford’s _ex_ -wife. And then the next thing Ford knows, he’s breaking up the three millionth fight between the two (even though they’re all actually pretty close – Stan just likes to bust Fidd’s hump).

The second employee, Bill Cipher, is never around and Dipper’s pretty sure he doesn’t actually exist. Fidd’s assures Dipper that he does and that he’s a real piece of work. He also tells both Dipper and Mabel to never, ever, _ever_ make a deal with the guy. What kind of deal, neither child knows, but Fidd’s just tells them not to ‘trust that crazy Dorito’.

Apparently that’s Bill’s nickname.

When Dipper asks Ford about it, his great uncle just shrugs and agrees. He says that Bill has…a lot of issues. But he can be helpful on occasion. He usually wants something in return though. When questioned why he even hired the guy, Ford just says he’s oddly charming in a creepy way. And he’s a snazzy dresser.

Dipper has no idea why this is a good hiring point, but whatever…

This is Dipper’s favorite part of the Shack. He finds all the science and inventions exciting and impossible and beyond cool. The younger twins are settled into the attic and everything goes rather smoothly – for about two weeks.

Then Stan grows…restless.

He goes to Ford and starts moaning and groaning about how they’ve been in this stinkin’ dimension too long and how their employees can handle things if they just go out on one quick run. Ford is totally against it. He might have caved at bringing the children here, but he’s _not_ going to be like that prick, Rick Sanchez, and drag young, impressionable children all across the infinite galaxies, realities, and dimensions.

Besides, they have other issues to worry about. Like the kids finding out why exactly they were disowned and how it actually doesn’t have anything to do with all the weirdness of Ford’s science or Stan’s general…Stan-ness. But Stan’s not worried about that – he’s just worried about how bored he is and how much fun the kids will have if they bring them and how Ford won’t be like Sanchez.

“After all, Sanchez is-”

Ford snarls, “If you say he’s smarter than me again, I swear to God-!”

Stan beams, “Come on, Sixer. Just one trip?”

Ford breathes in deeply and then breathes out, “Fine.”

Stan starts clapping excitedly but Ford glares at him, “But one trip and one trip only!”

“Scout’s honor!” Stan returns, fingers crossed behind his back even as he says it.

 

+

 

“Now kids, I’m sure you’re wondering why we had you meet us down here this morning.” Ford starts off gently.

“Stan said we had to, so-” Dipper glares at Stan, still kind of sleepy. Stan gently baps the top of his head with a rolled up newspaper, “Quiet! Trust me, you’ll thank me!”

Ford clears his throat, “Ah, yes, well…as you both know, I make a lot of inventions…and one of my crowning achievements is this!”

He draws out what looks like a flashlight. Stan looks happy to see it and both Dipper and Mabel look at one another in confusion. Ford continues, “Some people – unnamed, know-it-alls with severe superiority complexes –have similar devices but, they make theirs into guns – perpetuating a violent stereotype, which I refuse to-”

Stan coughs to cut Ford off and Ford glowers, “ _Anyway_ , I’m getting off the subject. Let’s power this up!”

Ford fiddles with some strange settings on the flashlight before pointing it at a blank wall in the kitchen. He clicks it on. Instead of just shooting out a beam of light to project on the wall it instead makes a circular disc. The disc is glowing and swirling, a vibrant blue. It’s about the size of a doorway. Ford gives a little grin, “That, children, is a portal to another world!”

Dipper and Mabel look at it and let out the same appreciative sound at the same time.

Stan explains, “You’re Great Uncle and I use this baby all the time. Travelin’ to other dimensions and worlds and realties. You know, to steal stuff.”

Ford lets out a heavy sigh, “No, _you_ steal. _I_ study.”

“Come on…you’ve stolen stuff before. Remember that time we swiped that nerd cube or whatever?”

“It was an infinity sided die and I didn’t swipe it…I…borrowed it.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you have to tell yourself, Sixer.” Stan chuckles.

“So, wait…you guys…are…what? Interdimensional space pirates?” Mabel asks and she looks so happy that Dipper wonders yet again if she might _actually_ explode, “THAT’S SO AWESOME!”

Dipper tries to be more chill about it, “Yeah. It is pretty cool.”

Inside he’s freaking out – screaming and, as his sister insulting puts it, ‘squeeing’. He does not ‘squee’. His voice is just…high pitched. More so when he’s excited.

“Well, thank you, kids,” Ford says and he’s about to click the flashlight off when Stan shoots him a look. Ford rolls his eyes, “Okay, okay – I…I made my brother a promise. And, keep in mind, it’s _only_ if you kids are truly interested, but…we-we were thinking we’d take you on a trip. Through the portal. If you want.”

“ _EEEeeeeee_!” the sound escapes Dipper before he can stop it. Everyone covers their ears and then gives him a look. Dipper immediately colors, “Oh, huh,” he tries to deepen his voice, “Yeah, you know. That sounds neat or whatever.”

“I should pack, right? What should I pack? What should I bring?! Do aliens like stickers?! What about GLITTER! OH! Are there aliens MADE of glitter?!” Mabel has no trouble showing her excitement and is running around in small circles.

Stan just chuckles and waves his hands at them, “See? What I tell ya, Ford? The kids _want_ to go!”

Ford chews the inside of one cheek, “But, just so you two know – this is a one-time deal.”

Stan makes sure to be out of Ford’s eyesight as he says, “Yeah. Just one time.” Even as he shakes his head at the kids, trying to convey that, no – they’ll _definitely_ be more than one time.

Ford reaches into his coat and pulls out a journal. It’s a little worn but he offers it to Dipper, “Here. I thought you might want to record your experience. I have a few like it myself. Three, in fact.”

“And I got this for you, sweetie!” Stan leaves the room and comes back with a pig. Or it might be a pig. Actually, it looks like a pig mutated with a goat. And then it lets out a burp wherein fire comes out. Ford moans, “Oh no, Stanley…you _can’t_ give her a pigoat!”

“Why not? They’re a super popular pet on Sleron!”

“Yes, on _Sleron_! Not on Earth and _not_ in this dimension!”

“But Grunkle Ford, he’s so precious! Look at him waddle!” Mabel gasps, hugging the creature close. Ford melts slightly – as he always does – when Mabel refers to him as her ‘Grunkle’. Stan gives him a little smile and Ford scratches at the back of his head, “I-I suppose he _would_ be a good guard animal…”

Dipper looks at the portal, “So…where are we going exactly?”

Ford grins, “Why don’t you go first and find out, Dipper?”

He eyes it, “Is it…safe?”

Before Ford can answer Mabel picks up her pigoat and with a hearty, ‘Hiiiiyeeeaaah!’ dashes into the portal. Stan laughs, “Gotta love that kid’s moxie!”

He follows after her. Ford looks at Dipper and holds out his hand. Dipper takes it and, together, they go through the portal and on to their first (of many) unbelievable adventures.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr if you want to visit me!: [cellard00rs](http://cellard00rs.tumblr.com/)


End file.
